The Adventures Of Secret Task Force: Unicorn

"Unicorn"?  Really?

Everyone has a "Unicorn".

Whether it be a Car, House, Relationship or some other Tangible, or Intangible Goal, everyone has that one thing that they want above all else.  

Something they're willing to go to ridiculous lengths to have, or willing to drop everything to achieve.

Like,  willing  to sell their current "Basket Case" Project Car at a Fire Sale Price to get it out of the way, just so they have garage space for their newest..."prize".

You know?  That kind of "Unicorn".

My Automotive Unicorns

When it comes to Cars, I unfortunately have several "Unicorns" that would lead me to go to ridiculous lengths like that.

To include: 

• Clean Conquest TSi/Starion ESi (4G63 Swap, What?)
• 71-77 Toyota Celica Coupe
• 92 Kensington Grey Mitsubishi Galant VR-4 (Had One And Sold It Before I moved To Kansas.  Still Kicking Myself For That One.)
• A "Clean" Non Rusty 97-98 Eagle Talon TSi/AWD (I Have One, But It's Rusty And Needs An Engine. :-( )
• Lowered Shortbed Chevrolet LUV Pickup Truck (LS or 4G63 Swap Candidate?)
• 79-83 Mitsubshi Mighty Max/Dodge D-50 Truck (Notice A Theme Here?)
• JDM Diesel Mitsubishi Pajero/Montero SUV
• 70's RWD Dodge Colt
• 80's RWD Dodge Challenger (Mitsubishi Galant Lambda)
• Old Rat Rod (With A 4G63 Of Course.  Why Not Piss Everybody Off?)
• Dodge Stealth R/T Twin Turbo (Mystic Blue, Black Leather Interior, Mostly Unmodified)

Wait.  That Last One Seemed Oddly Specific?

It should, because it's a particular color combo, I've been chasing, for a very long time now.  

For something like, over 25 years now.

Damn, You're Old

I spotted my very first Dodge Stealth around 1992 back at the now shuttered, Bergstrom AFB in Austin, TX.

I was a Traditional Reservist in the 924th TFG Engine Shop, and probably 19 years old at the time. Young, Dumb and Broke. 

 I drove a 84 Toyota Tercel 5 Speed Hatchback back then and didn't really have a interest in cars, other than getting me from Point A to Point B.

 I remember seeing one of the Full Time Technicians in the unit pulling up in a Firestorm Red Stealth Twin Turbo one morning and hopping out of it.  

It was like something SNAPPED in my head.

I had no idea what it was or anything about it, but something clicked on in my head that day, and ever since then I've wanted one for myself.  

It also sparked an interest in cars, that changed them from mere appliances, to something far more interesting and desirable.

Back then, the Internet as we know it didn't exist, so I had to research the car by reading magazine articles, pestering the aforementioned Technician with a lot of stupid questions, and driving by Dodge dealerships to "Window Shop" the cars.

Twin Turbo and AWD were very much on my brain at the time, and I drove myself nuts plotting and scheming about how to get one.

Never Gonna Get It

Unfortunately, the odds of getting one for myself, were very slim.  Seeing as I was a broke ass, 19 year old Air Force Reservist who was still living at home, because he still hadn't figured out what he wanted to do with his life yet.

The Stealth became something I wanted, but couldn't have so, I started messing around with my Toyota Tercel (hah!).  Did some car stereo installs and over the years drifted into Mini Trucks and basically moved on and mostly forgot about the Stealth.

Kinda Like A Stealth, But Not

I eventually got into Mitsubishi's and DSM's in a big way, but aside from a brief time with a 3000GT SL in 2005, owning a Stealth continued to elude me.

Non Turbo, DOHC, FWD

"Fiji" Blue!

The 3000GT was nice, but I preferred the styling of the Stealth.  I also hated that the 3000GT required Premium Fuel and didn't have a a Turbo or AWD. 

I did however, LOVE the color of the car and the Dark Charcoal Leather Interior.  Mitsubishi called it "Fiji" Blue, while it was referred to as "Mystic" Blue for the Stealth.

 I think this is where I decided that I while I would take a Stealth R/T TT in any color, besides RED, What I really wanted, was a Mystic Blue Stealth R/T TT with the Charcoal Grey interior.

Good Luck with that I said to myself.  It's not the most rare combination, but it's not that common.

I sold the 3000GT soon afterwards and kept messing with DSM's and other Turbocharged Mitsubishi cars.

Oh, What's This Then?

Back in July, I happened to catch this ad on my Facebook Timeline:

Oh, Bloody Hell!

It was a little pricier, than what I wanted to spend on yet another Money Pit Project car, and was over 11 hours away from Wichita.

"Too far away", was my first thought.  

"Too much money", was the second.  

"Besides, I don't have the room, with the 98 Talon in the other garage", was the third thought as I scrolled down to see what else Facebook had decided I wanted to see that day. 

 I congratulated myself on being a rational adult.

*Ten Seconds Later*

"Fuck It.  I'm Getting It."

Ten Seconds?  A new record, I believe.

 

Why Are You Doing This, You Dummy?

I agree, it's not a very smart thing to do, but then again, I do have a problem with impulse control.  But, there's a little more to it in this case.

I was in a pretty serious car accident last September.  I almost died because some random guy fell asleep at the wheel and almost punched my ticket.

I wasn't doing anything stupid.  Coming home from work.  Wrong place, wrong time. Completely random thing.

Like I said, I've wanted one of these cars for a very long time.  Whenever a good deal on a Stealth R/T TT has popped up over the years, I either didn't have the money or the room.

Whenever I had the money or the the room, there were none to be found.

I had recently settled on the car accident, then this pops up randomly on Facebook? 

I was holding onto the money for adult things like buying a house or for a "just in case" situation, but I did have a little money I could spare.

Fate?  Kismet?  Karma?

Seems like the Universe is saying to do it, so here we go.

Screw it.  It's time to stop "Wanting" and get to "Getting".

Secret Task Force Unicorn: ASSEMBLE!

I contacted the seller and put down a deposit to hold the car for 2 weeks.

My initial plan was to either fly out to the car and drive it back or rent a car, drive out there and drive it back.

Neither option really appealed to me.

If I flew and the car was a dud, then I was screwed because who knew how I would be able to get home? 

"Hey dude, this car sucks.  BTW, can you give me a lift so I can get to the airport and try to schedule a flight home sometime?"

 Flying was pretty pricey as well.  Plus, I wanted to take tools and other parts with me, for "just in case" on the way back.   I figured checking a Tool Bag with a bunch of assorted Pokey and Stabby things in it would be a real hassle.

A rental was the second best choice,because I could carry tools, and had the flexibility to leave if the car turned out to be a turkey.  Plus slightly cheaper than flying, but risky driving a used car for 11 hours through mountain passes by myself.

"Ugh."

The best option from a flexibility and safety standpoint was to drive my Daily Driver Hyundai out there.  Check out the car and caravan back with both vehicles if I decided to buy it.  The drive would still suck, but with a Co-Pilot, well..."Misery, Loves Company."

The Daily Driver

It's a great idea, but I don't know a lot of "car people" in Wichita who could just drop everything for a three day road trip.  To go get a 26 year old Turbocharged "Bastard" Dodge from somewhere out in BFE, Colorado.  Well, except, for one guy maybe crazy enough to sign on for this nonsense.

I called my buddy and he surprised me by not only agreeing to go along with me on this impulsive and ill advised venture, but actually seemed excited by a 11 Hour drive to go check it out and another 11 Hours to come back.

I Have Weird Friends.

With that, "Secret Task Force: Unicorn" was born.

It's Mission?

"Retrieve the asset, designated "Unicorn 1" from Remote Location and return with it, intact to Home Station with all personnel accounted for".

In other words:  "Drive our dumbasses from Wichita and buy the car if it doesn't suck. Don't die while driving it back home."


Got It.

So, I had a car, tools and a willing Co-Pilot to accompany me on this fools errand.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

To Be Continued...


Alpha, Mike, Foxtrot.....