The Adventures Of Secret Task Force: Unicorn- Part Deux/Day One

The Plan:

  So, now that I had a willing Co-Conspirator to go with me, the plan to get the Stealth from somewhere in BFE, Colorado and back to Wichita in one piece, was pulled together.

We would leave here on Thursday and drive through and past Denver to Eagle, CO and crash for the night in a hotel.

Friday morning, would see us to the seller's house in Clifton, CO where we would check the car out, test drive it and make a final decision on whether or not to pull the trigger on the deal.

If I bought it, I would need to go to the DMV, and get a Temporary Transport Tag to drive it home.

We would then drive the Stealth and my Sonata back home and crash at a hotel in Kanarado (Really?) , KS for the night.  Then continue on into Wichita, on Saturday morning.

As far as harebrained, and impulsive decisions to buy yet another "4 Wheeled AWD Money Pit" go, I congratulated myself on coming up with what seemed like a decent plan.

Day One:

I had the Sonata loaded up with tools, my laptop, a bag with some clothes and my "Shower, Shit and Shave" stuff. 

I picked up Jake, my Co Pilot at his place in Downtown Wichita.  Loaded his stuff up and we headed out, following the Navigation system in the Hyundai, towards Denver.

The trip was off to a good start, were were bombing along on I-70, with Jake playing DJ and navigator.  It was good to have someone to talk to on the trip, and I really appreciated having him along.  I could have done this myself in a rental car, but it would have SUCKED.

What's This?

Somewhere before we crossed the border into Colorado, he mentioned that he'd like to try a substance that's legal in Colorado, but not in Kansas.  He'd never tried it and was curious as to what it was like.

Three guesses what it was, and the first two don't count.

I was OK with that, even though I couldn't partake myself because of my job and lack of interest for the most part. I told him if he could find a place, then yeah, we can stop somewhere so he could check it out.

That Was Easier Than I Thought

It turns out, that Denver is lousy with "Dispensaries" for both Medical and Recreational use.  So we added it to the itinerary on the Nav System and soon found ourselves at one after a few twists and turns in Denver traffic.

A Hive Of Scum And Villainy...

I'm honestly not sure what I expected to find at one of these places, since I've never partaken of the substance or even knew how to go about buying it before it became legalized in some states.

I figured it'd be some sketchy looking setup, and borderline dangerous with lowlifes hanging around outside. 

 I was pleasantly surprised.

The building had a decent sized Waiting Area and a Reception Desk, where both of our ID's were checked upon entry.  Aside from a very distinct smell in the air, it looked like a customer lounge at a  car dealership.

We sat there for a few minutes and then Jake was led into the back with a "Consultant", while I cooled my heels and did some people watching.  

I'd say about 80% of the people in there and behind the counter looked like everyday, average people. 

Weird.  Not what I was expecting at all.

About 10 minutes later Jake showed back up holding a small paper bag and we left.

He said that the Consultant let him know what was available to buy and made some recommendations based on what he asked him.  Based on this, being his first time and not wanting to inhale anything, he ended up buying some.."edibles".

Overall, the whole operation was very well organized, efficient and regulated, which to me was an eye opener.  Maybe legalizing this stuff isn't such a bad idea after all.  

Anyway, "Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys".  I leave that for others to argue and consider.

We got back on the road and headed out of Denver.

Crosstown Traffic

We got stuck in some traffic leaving Denver, and I got to experience bumper to bumper traffic in yet, another Major Metropolitan Area.  

Go, me.  

This is one item I can definitely go without adding to my Life Experience Data Bank.  Already full and quantified, thanks!

While I was wondering (and hoping) if someone was both dead and the reason for the traffic jam, Jake decided to try out the stuff he bought.

He consumed the two Gummy Bears as was recommended by his consultant, and then waited as we finally cleared the traffic about twenty minutes later and were able to leave Denver, proper.

Hypoxia Sucks

So, we're making pretty good time on I-70, going through mountain passes, talking and taking in the scenery.

If you ever have the chance to drive I-70 going west through the mountains, do it and enjoy the view.

It's gorgeous up there!  It's also a awesome drive in the right car, which the Sonata wasn't, but we were making do with what we had.  Pushing it up and down the mountain pass, with music blaring from the stereo the whole time.

At this point, I believe the Gummies had finally kicked in, because Jake was suddenly finding everything funny, bouncing from topic to topic in our conversation, while going through every song on his phone.

On one particularly steep downhill stretch, he said something to the effect of:  "This needs some Eurobeat....", and then twitched, rolled his eyes, shook a bit and then PASSED OUT.

Kaput

Goneski

Sayonara

Checked The Fuck Out

I immediately pulled over and started shaking him, and yelling at him to wake up but he was completely unresponsive.

"Holy Shit"

I could feel breathing, from sticking my finger under his nose and was getting ready to dial 911, when he started twitching again, convulsed a bit, then started coming back to consciousness.  I figure he was out for about a minute and a half or two, total time. 

He said he could hear me yelling at him, and felt me shaking him, but couldn't move at all for a few seconds.  After a bit, he was able to move and talk again.  He said he was fine, then immediately grabbed my mostly empty Quik Trip cup and threw up into it.

  OK...not weird at all.  

"I'm Fine."  Yeah.

I told him I thought we should go to a hospital to get him checked out, but he nixed that idea. No insurance and didn't want to pay for the visit.  I insisted again, but he waved me off. He said he wanted water, but that he still felt like shit and probably just needed rest.

I plugged in a local hospital into the GPS, just in case and continued on into the next town about 20 miles away and hit up a 7-11 for some water and a slightly lower elevation.  

We figured these were symptoms from the altitude changes, possible dehydration and the Scummy Bears.

He cleaned up and after about an hour in the parking lot, drinking water, we decided to try and make Eagle, so that we could check into the hotel.

About 20 minutes into this next leg, he grabbed my arm and said "Pullthefuckoverrightnow!", which I did.  Just in time, it would seem.

He then proceeded to paint one side of I-70, with the entire contents of his stomach, in one massive hurl.

I wan't even really disgusted by it, just mostly impressed.  

I could see some of the oncoming drivers on the road, kind of eyeballing us and probably wondering why he was on his hands and knees...and passing out again, and landing headfirst in a puddle of puke.

"Aww Shit"

I managed to get him sitting up again, and waited for him to come around.  Once again, the hospital idea was shot down, so I helped him get cleaned up and we continued on to the hotel.

Made It

We got checked in and headed up to the room.  But not before Jake decided it was a good idea to sit down on the floor in front of the elevator, while we were waiting for it and go to sleep. 

 I picked him up, explained to a passerby that he was "dead tired" (Thanks Arnold) and helped him get to the room. Where he crawled into his bed face first, clothes and all, and pretty much passed out again.

 I could hear him snoring, so I figured he was doing as well as he could, and couldn't hurt himself that much.  Besides, I was pretty tired as well.  I got ready for bed myself.

"Hell of a first day.  I wonder, what's next", I thought,  as I fell asleep.

To Be Continued

Alpha, Mike, Foxtrot....